The theme of Mental Health Awareness Week 2020 is ‘kindness’. The week ensures that mental health is talked about across the UK which is especially pertinent this year, as the week falls in the midst of a global pandemic where everyone finds themselves in lockdown at home. The importance of mental health has likely never affected so many people at once.
We asked individuals at BAE Applied Intelligence what kindness meant to them, especially in relation to mental health and during the current climate.
Click each of their names to read their words:
Being kind is a great way to improve your own mental health, and at the same time, the mental health of those around you. Win win!
We live in a world that is full of stress and anxiety, a welcome antidote to this is to either perform an act of kindness towards someone else, or to be lucky enough receive one! And normally, when someone witnesses an act of kindness, they are more likely to ‘pay it forward’ and it can create a domino effect.
Being kind is also fundamental to reducing stigma and negativity towards those struggling with mental health, and encourages them to reach out for help. I know from my own experience of ill mental health just how the act of someone demonstrating compassion was central to changing the downward spiral I was on.
If you are reading this, I’d ask ‘have you done something kind today’? If not – seize the moment and be the one to start the domino effect!
I think there can sometimes be a misconception that work is separate from the rest of your life. That what happens at work, stays within the office walls and when you leave you can forget all about it and life can begin. I think that’s a really unhealthy way to think. We are all at work for such a huge chunk of our lives. The interactions we have, the day to day conversations, meetings, our experiences, the role we do, all have a huge impact on our overall wellbeing.
Often when I am talking to friends or family that are struggling with their mental health, a common theme is that they are struggling with aspects of their job. Perhaps a tricky relationship with a co-worker or manager that never gets resolved – because ‘that’s just work’. One of our focuses at Great Minds is to remind people that mental wellbeing and kindness is just as important in work as out of it.
What you do and how you treat others can have a profound impact on how they feel, their happiness, your happiness and, of course business productivity. It’s not easy to have conversations about how you behave towards each other but it’s most definitely possible and we should be championing empathetic leadership on a par with more traditional business outcomes.
Being kind, in my view, can be as simple as asking your colleague how they are, and not moving on the conversation when they say ‘I’m fine, how are you?’. Sometimes it takes that extra push - ‘no, but how are you really? You seem a bit down’. During a tough time for me towards the end of last year, it took my colleague asking the second question for me to really open up. The power of kindness is giving someone a safe space to take the floor.
Having a good cry over a coffee, spilling my guts and finally feeling as though the weight had lifted a little from my shoulders helps you to carry on. Never underestimate the power of a good cry! We can’t always fix what someone is going through, but we can be kind enough to listen, and it’s so important to be in the workplace.
Especially during this time when many are working in sometimes difficult environments, that extra question can be crucial to someone’s mental health. To think that one further question could make such an impact on someone, it’s worth a go.
I know this doesn’t sound like a mental health tale but bear with me….. The first time I went to the supermarket during the current Covid related lockdown, I really didn’t know to expect. I had all the necessary items, such as; gel, mask, gloves, wipes and of course reusable bags. It wasn’t until half way around the shop I realised I didn’t have my purse, the one thing I really needed! After an initial wave of anxiety, I thought, its ok, future Laura will deal with this.
As I got to the very well organised check out, I said to the lady, ‘I’m an idiot, I’ve left my purse in the car’. It was the evening and she must have been fed up with the whole thing but with a smile on her face, she said, ‘don’t worry, leave your trolley with me and go grab it’.
After doing the quickest sprint of my life, I came back to find that not only had she unloaded all my things on to the belt, she had also packed everything into bags (so, not that fast of a sprint then!). As I realised and caught her eye, she just said ‘I’m not paying for it too!’ We both laughed, I thanked her so much and in non Covid times, I definitely would have hugged her.
As I drove home, I wasn’t ranting about the fact that people can’t understand arrows or that if you are touching me, you are probably not 2m away, I was thinking about how kind that lady had been and how grateful to her I was. How this small act of kindness made what could have been a really awkward situation for me totally manageable. I hope she gets employee of the month!
As Jackie Chan once said: 'Sometimes it takes only one act of kindness and caring to change a person’s life'. That is exactly what the Great Minds Network is all about. Through awareness and support, Great Minds has created a safe, open and kind environment for our colleagues, accessible to all. Most importantly, reminding us to be kind to ourselves! During this difficult time of lockdown, we have seen more than ever just how supportive our peers are, and that kindness will always be remembered in such a positive way.
The act of kindness that has the greatest relative impact on improving my mental health is probably something that the other person doesn't see as an act of kindness at all. It's simply being asked how I am doing, and seeing someone show a genuine interest in my answer. Particularly in times where many people have an increased level of latent stress playing on their mind, being offered the opportunity to vent provides a much needed emotional and mental release.
I've seen this done in a couple of excellent ways and there are many more besides, but my favorite ways that my fellow Great Minders get through to me is to ask me to score my day 1-10, or ask me how I'm doing twice (one for the autopilot response and twice to show they're really asking). I like these approaches because both challenge me to think about my response and crucially to give an honest answer.
An act of kindness that I remember vividly was moment when I realised that someone truly cared for my well-being and mental health. I have always been a proud individual, never really wanting to ask for help or show any vulnerability but I think that this was further compounded by a very toxic and mentally abusive marriage.
Whilst serving in the Armed Forces, I had a particularly good boss, an senior rank who really cared about his troops. Over a period of several months, this particular senior began to piece together a fairly accurate picture of my life at home despite my not realising just how much I was giving away during our conflabs.
Whilst serving in the Armed Forces, I had a particularly good boss, an senior rank who really cared about his troops. Over a period of several months, this particular senior began to piece together a fairly accurate picture of my life at home despite my not realising just how much I was giving away during our conflabs.
It was on one particular morning when my ex-husband decided to leave the house early for work and lock me inside, taking with him my set of house and car keys. This meant that I was unable to turn up on time for my duty at the barracks and had no choice but to call my boss and explain the situation to him. I felt like such a fool and was embarrassed.
He cut me short, told me not to panic and to start packing my bags as he was going to come and take me out of that hellish marriage and move me to a place of safety. He also took care of the residual elements that came with leaving a home behind. And that was the beginning of the end really. I was so blind to the mental abuse that I don’t think that I ever would have left of my own accord but it means the absolute world to me that someone cared enough to listen to what I was saying, read between the lines and then to take action. He was ultimately the key to my new life and I will forever be thankful.
I’m a different person now and I will invest my time and effort into listening, helping and supporting anyone who needs a shoulder, because we all need that at some point in our lives.
You never truly know what goes on behind closed doors, so be kind.
Since starting at Applied Intelligence in September 2018, I have received kindness immeasurably from a spectrum of people: managers, peers, colleagues and clients. This kindness is so incredibly important, particularly in a consultancy business where you are likely to change project teams every couple of months. I have experienced this consistently: new project team but the same kindness.
Kindness is such a critical component of human compassion, it encourages and invokes feelings of being seen and understood. At every stage of my childhood and adulthood I can remember key people in my life encouraging me to be kind – spanning from ‘kindness is a way of life’ to ‘you will never know what another person is going through, be kind to everyone’. Sounds clichéd, but it really is that simple. ‘You will never know what another person is going through, be kind to everyone.’
It's so important to be kind to everyone, especially in the "age of lockdown" that we are in now. People can feel even more isolated, so please reach out. We generally don't know what people are dealing with in their lives, and everybody is different - but that doesn't mean we need to treat them differently. Kindness makes people feel like they are listened to, like they are loved, and like they are a real person.
So what can we do? Have that conversation with a colleague that you haven't spoken to in a while, just ask them how they are doing. It doesn't take much to be kind to someone - offer them support, listen to them, don't judge what they are saying - be there for someone, anyone, and everyone. We'll help to build a stronger community, one where everybody has everyone else's best interests at heart.
Don't just be kind, be excellent to each other!
A few months ago, I'd had a really rough week. I hadn't been sleeping well, I'd been feeling sad and lonely and hadn't had the energy to go out and do anything fun to distract myself. On a whim, I messaged a friend who lives quite a distance away and told him I'd been feeling a bit rubbish. He understood and kindly invited me up to stay with him for the weekend. These kinds of friends, knowing when to reach out, are so important.
